this night, i saw a movie, which, left me in pieces, whole. it reminded me how important i am to myself, and to my parents, how they wish me to become something amazing. I know i can reach, but, it seems like i cant find the will, i talk big but i act small, it’s always been this way.
So, the movie i saw, ‘sang pemimpi’, the dreamer, which, in title, is so much me than i could ever imagine, ever since i stepped foot in high school, i dreamed like never before, i have found my everest, but yet, i climb like i was jus told to. when i spoke to this person, she said, ‘aim for the moon and you’ll shoot the stars’ I love this quote, its so amazing, yet again i cant find myself aiming.
And, i thought my life’s goal was to find that girl who puts the color in my world, who, i think i have found but, yeah, being me, trying to entice such an artist aint a walk in the park, though *ahem* i am happy with the slightest stroke of her brush.. anyways… find her, live a happy family while keeping at my peak for as long as possible. But, things change, gravity was not a fixed thing in my life, one time its standard, and one time i cant even lift myself up, just there on my knees.
Because of gravity i have a new goal, a goal that used to be an optional thing but now is a primary objective, and that goal is my parent’s, i have a goal, that would make them smile like they own the world when they say ‘that’s my son.’ I always want to change, so that the check boxes in my ‘list of goals’ can be checked.
But in that movie, the main dude let his father down, and thats what made me to pieces, i dont want that, because of so many things that have happened. I dont want to let him down, or my mother down, or myself down. I will aim, and i will shoot, and i will run down that path that i will make, and be happy where i truly am.
and maybe even sway that artist hehe.
so as much as i rant, and detest, and complain, and whine, and such, theres always that tune, that moment, where gravity lightens. and anyone who actually reads my blog, im sure that gravity is on the heavy, life will always give way, if you let it and try, a ball goes into a goal because you aim, you check your power, and kick that damn thing (ya of course!) well, you get the point
whoever reads this, itjustfellout
side story, the reason i love english, is not because i hate indonesia, both languges are intricate and beautiful, but english is just something that my dad taught me when i was still a kid, and indonesian is a different thing all together, so yeah thats why, now i want to learn french, one because i want to, two because my school has that language for a class, three because its a beautiful language and i have the accent, sort of, four you cant know hehe ciao!
